A Warrior and His Rogue
by Sugarbubbleslove
Summary: It is the middle of the Blight, they are messed up in their own ways, yet they can still find love with the other. Chapter 3: A Comfort Within Doubts - Filled with doubts, Elissa questions their relationship.
1. Chapter 1: A Dream Within The Fade

Title: A Warrior and his Rogue

Characters: Alistair Guerrin-Therin, Elissa Cousland

Pairings: Alistair/Elissa Cousland

Rating: Teen to High Adult

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone/anything from the forum Dragon Age. Bioware owns Dragon Age and its characters. There is no copyright infringement intended. I do not make any profit/money or take any credit.

Summary: It is the middle of the Blight, they are messed up in their own ways, yet they can still find love with the other.

Timeline: Throughout DA: O/DA: A/DA: II (including DLCs)

Warning: Angst, Romance, Violence, Implied Sexual Themes, Dominance, Friendship, Comfort, AU, Pre-Game, In Game, Post Game

Author's Notes: These were originally going to be part of 'Of Warriors and Rogues' collection but I ended up expanding on this line of thought and I thought it was safer to put them under one title rather than spreading it out.

Title: A Dream within the Fade

Pairings: Alistair/Elissa Cousland (Human Noble)

Rating: Teen

Summary: She sees how happy he is, and it makes her heart heavy with sadness for what she must do

Timeline: During the Fade

Warnings: slight violence, angst

A Dream within the Fade

She hated the Fade, absolutely hated it. It was a never-ending maze and she just wanted to find her companions, her friends, and be done with the whole thing already.

Not to mention she wanted to get away from the dream she had been trapped within. The demon knew what buttons to press and she had been tempted to stay there - with her family - but there had been a nagging feeling that something was missing.

Now, she was walking through the never-ending hazy winding road and she missed hearing her friends banter. She never knew how much it comforted her.

In addition, battling enemies by her lonesome was not easy. It was so strange going into battle and not having Alistair at her back. Since they left Lothering, they have not been away from the other for any length of time. He was always the one at her back when they were fighting and the one standing next to her when she had to make a choice, silently giving her the courage she needed.

Damon, her Mabari, would already be charging ahead taking down the enemies. He would disable them and the others would finish them off.

Her fingers twitched reflexively at the memories of her dog licking her fingers whenever she needed comfort or assurance that he was there. He had been her main source of comfort since she fled her family home.

She shook herself free of her thoughts. Now was not the time to daydream, she needed to focus. She needed to find a way to her friends. She thought back to what the mage, Niall, had said.

Each path led the way to a small island where each of her companions was stuck in a dream of the demon's making. So…all she had to do was keep going forward until she reached them. With renewed energy, she unsheathed her daggers and stalked forward.

If Alistair did not mind, _she_ was going to be the one to behead the Demon who got them into this bloody Fade.

~_ADWTF_~

She appeared onto an island, looking around, sighing with relief. It must be one of the islands the Demon created to trap her friends. She wondered which one she finally managed to reach when she heard familiar laugher.

Her heart leaping, she hurried over to the clearing at the end of the path before she spotted him. He was standing in the garden, in front of a nice house, dressed in comfortable clothing, instead of his grey-warden armour, and he looked so much at ease.

"Alistair," she let out a sigh of relief. "Thank the Maker," she jogged over to him only to stop when she spotted the unfamiliar woman next to him. The two of them were conversing animatedly while there were three young kids running about in the garden.

Two boys and a girl, she noted. They were shouting about Griffons and Grey-Wardens, Darkspawns and Kings.

Watching them a moment longer, she realised they were playing a game and she flashed back to Oren, her nephew. He would look up at her with those bright green eyes, begging for another story or laughing as he squirmed away from her tickling fingers.

The image stole her breath away and she shook it off. Now was not the time to remember her family, or mourn them. What was important was getting to Alistair before he was lost to this dream.

However, each step closer she took, she saw how…_happy_ he looked. He never looked like when they were in the camp, always staring into the fire. She had wondered if he was thinking about the loss of the Grey Wardens, the people who had become like a family to him.

Soon she came to a stop next the gate that opened up to the pathway where Alistair and the woman were standing.

"Alistair," she called out. Alistair turned, brightening when he saw her. She moved closer to them.

"Elissa!" he sounded so joyful, it made her heart clench. She looked at the other woman, who smiled serenely in her direction. "It's great to see you again! I was just thinking about you," he gave her a wry smile. "Isn't that a marvellous coincidence?" He seemed to remember himself for a moment, his cheeks blushing. "This is my sister, Goldanna."

Elissa looked at the other woman once more in shock. Sister? He had never once mentioned a sister to her and she wondered if this was real or something he desired, a family. "These are her children," He gestured to the children still running about in the garden, taking no notice of the adults. He looked back at her once more and she felt tightness around her heart.

"You seem…happy," she reluctantly noticed.

"I am," he agreed. "I'm happier than I've been my entire life." He gave her a bemused grin. "Isn't that strange? I thought being a Grey Warden would make me happy, but it did not. This does."

"I am so overjoyed to have my little brother back. I'll never let him out of my sight again!" Goldanna chimed in with a laugh.

Elissa wanted to say something, anything to break him out of his dream but one look at happiness; she found it hard to say anything. She wondered if it was fair for her to break him out of his dream, especially when he looked so happy and at peace.

She remembered how hard it had been for her, surrounded by her family once more. It had felt so real that she could have almost believed that it was real, that their deaths had just been a nightmare.

Nevertheless, there had been something missing, and that had helped her to break free of the illusion she had been in.

"Elissa?" she saw him looking at her with concern on his face. She tried to muster up a smile but she failed, she could see it on his face. He stepped closer to her.

"Is your friend staying for dinner?" Goldanna's voice cut in and both of them looked at her. Alistair in surprised, while Elissa had noticed the possessiveness in the other woman's voice. A strange haze seemed to surround Alistair for a moment before he turned to Elissa.

"Say you will stay," he told her, seemly forgetting what he had been about to say. "Goldanna makes a really good hot-pie." Goldanna chuckled.

"Anything you wish little brother." The haze around Alistair seemed to tighten and it resolved her courage.

"I can't stay," Elissa softly admitted, looking up at Alistair, who looked disappointed. She felt even worse for what she was about to do. "But neither can you, Alistair."

Alistair frowned while a hissing sound came from Goldanna as she stepped forward.

"What are you talking about?" he asked Elissa.

"Dinner time, Alistair," Goldanna cut in sharply. Alistair went to look at his sister but Elissa got there first, placing a hand on his elbow and he refocused his gaze on her.

"Alistair," she bit her bottom lip.

"You are not making any sense," he told her, shaking his head and she took a deep breath.

"Please," she stepped in closer. "Please think about how we got here."

He frowned again before giving her a nod.

"Alright, if it will make you happy," he told her, his voice soft.

"Yes, it would," she assured him softly, while everything inside of her screamed at him to stop thinking, just to go with the dream but she refrained. She was being selfish but she could not help it.

"It's…fuzzy," he thought back as he tried to remember. "That's strange."

"Alistair, come and have some tea," Goldanna tried to interrupt again but this time Alistair wasn't so easily deterred, giving his sister a short head-shake.

"No, I-I think I remember? The tower? We were at the Circle," he slowly remembered. "It was under attack?"

"Yes," Elissa confirmed. Alistair shook his head, obviously having a hard time believing it.

"Wait – is this even real?" he demanded, his brown eyes flaring. The haze around him started to crack, his normal clothes turning back to his Grey Warden outfits.

A sure sign he was breaking out of the dream.

"Of course it's real!" Goldanna near shrieked at him, causing the two of them to look at her. "Now wash up before supper-" But Alistair dismissed her, turning back to Elissa.

"The Demon," he blurted out. "Is this the…Fade?" he asked before he shook his head, a hand coming up to his forehead. "I don't feel so good, I think I should leave."

Elissa took a step back, giving him space and a short nod of agreement.

"Maybe it will help clear your head up," she suggested and he gave her a small smile before he started to walk away when Goldanna lost the last control over her temper.

"**No!**" she screamed and both of them spun around to watch her normal features twist and consort.

"Maker's breath!" whispered Alistair as he watched the children's form twist and change shape.

"He is ours," she hissed, growing in size, "and I'd rather see him dead than free!" she morphed into a demon, along with her three 'children'.

Both Elissa and Alistair unsheathed their weapons and twisting so they were back to back with the demons circling them.

For the first time since she entered the Fade, she felt safe. She knew it was because Alistair had her back, they were both protecting the other rather than her being alone. They had sparred together, learned the other's moves and used it against those who fought them.

She dived forward, driving her daggers into the side of the demon before jumping backward as the demon swiped a large claw at her.

Alistair was there in front of her, his shield blocking the attack before slamming his shield into the demon, rocking her backward then thrusting his sword forward, embedding it deep into the demon's stomach.

She ran around, backstabbing the demon, holding it place for Alistair to pull his sword free and swing it, beheading the demon.

The demon died with an unearthly shriek, the other demons cried out before they exploded in a shower of black blood.

The scene shifted, revealing they were standing on a small island. Elissa looked around, wondering once more how it could look so different when it was someone's dream.

"How did I not see this?" he asked, looking around with fresh eyes. It had been the same for her, killing the demons had brought her to the 'reality' of the Fade and it had been disturbing.

"It is the Fade," she reminded him softly, her eyes going to the dark shapes she could make out further away. "It does things to your head."

He gave a chuckle born out of embarrassment as he turned to look at her and she felt her cheeks heat up when he rubbed the back of his head while giving her a bashful look.

"Let's not tell anyone how easily I was fooled, yeah?" he asked, giving her that smile he always gave her and her heart skipped a beat.

"Okay," she agreed, giving him a small smile as his hand dropped to his side and he looked off to the side.

"Still, I should have known it wasn't real," he said, mostly to himself. Tears pricked the back of her eyes when she saw the look on his face, the same look that he wore when he looked into the fire, and she blinked to keep them from falling but she failed as a tear slipped free, running down her cheek and his look turn to one of concern.

"Elissa?" he asked, his hand going to her elbow.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. He frowned. She leaned up and softly pressed her lips to his. He froze under her touch and she felt her broken heart crack a little bit more.

Pulling away, she looked up at him only for Alistair to lean in, pulling her close by her elbow and he kissed her.

Her eyes fluttered shut and she let herself go. Alistair's free hand rested on her hip and her hands went to his shoulders. He kissed her softly, almost hesitantly at first, before he gained the confidence and kissed her harder.

His hand, on her hip, slid around to the small of her back, pulling her further into his body while her arms slipped around his neck. His hand, that was still cupping her elbow, slid up her arm and into her bun, his fingers digging into her dark locks.

One of her hands slid into his dark blonde hair, her other hand sliding over his shoulders as she pressed herself up on tip-toes. He slid his hand fully over her waist, banding his arm and pulling her in closer.

It was surreal; they were having their first kiss within the Fade, she was having her first kiss with Alistair, a man she was slowly coming to care for. He was slowly worming his way into her heart and it scared her, but the thought of losing him scared her more.

As if sensing her thoughts, his kisses turned gentle, softer, before they parted to breathe, his forehead resting against hers as she fought to get her heart back under control when he dipped his head down once more and gave her a soft kiss.

She gasped into his mouth, her breath taken away at the sweetness of it and tears pricked the back of her eyes once more. Who knew Alistair had a romantic side to him?

"Elissa," he breathed against her lips and she shivered only to frown when she suddenly felt cold. Looking up, she saw Alistair was fading. "What's…what's happening to me?" he looked at his hands, which were beginning to turn transparent.

"Alistair…" but his eyes widened as he took a step back.

"NO! Let me go!" he shouted but it was too late. She reached out to grab his hand only her hand to pass right through him and he disappeared before her eyes.

Swallowing back a gasp, she looked around only to see the pedestal was glowing once more and gritted her teeth.

She, apparently, was not finished with the Fade, not by a long shot.

~_ADWTF_~

She awoke with a gasp, her eyes snapping open to see the familiar ceiling of the tower they were currently trying to save.

"Elissa," she turned her head to see Alistair propping himself up on an elbow, a hand reaching out to touch her hip. "You okay?" his eyes scanned her body for any injuries.

"I'm fine," she assured him, her hand touching his upper arm, feeling a little drained. She wondered if it was normal since their life force had been the one powering the Demon. "You?" she checked his body.

"Yeah," he agreed softly, watching her with those brown eyes that seemed soft. For a moment, she thought he was going to kiss her but Damon's barks broke them out of their stare.

They turned to see Damon was sitting next to them, his tongue lolling while Wynne and Sten were slowly wakening from their sleep.

"My thanks," Sten told her, his voice low and she gave him a nod in return, understanding.

"The Demon is gone, right?" Alistair as he got to his feet, helping Elissa as he did.

"Yes," Wynne got to her feet, her hand gesturing to the slain Demon, lying nearby. It was funny how different it looked from the Fade. Looking closer revealed that the Demon had possessed a human body, obviously with the intent on corrupting the tower.

"We should find this _Litany of Adralla_ if we wish to proceed," Sten reminded, focused as ever.

"Yes," Elissa snapped to attention, looking in the direction of the young man who had helped them out only to stop short when she discovered that Niall had been right all along, it had been too late to save him.

"He was right, he _had_ been dying," Elissa whispered as she knelt down to the still body of Niall.

"At least he died honourably," the motherly mage told her. "I will tell the Knight-Commander of his bravery. He will use that to encourage the mages to fight against demons and blood magic."

"Still," Elissa reached out, her brushing over his eyes to seal them shut and picked up the _Litany of Adralla_, "he should have been given a chance."

"That is the cost of demons and blood magic," Wynne told her, placing a hand on her shoulder and Elissa looked up at the older woman. "Those who make the deals are never enough of a payment. Those around them are also the ones to pay the price."

They stayed silent, each one offering the young man a prayer before Elissa straightened up, placing the Litany in her pack.

"We should get a move on. No doubt we have little time left thanks to the Demon," Elissa told them and got nods in return. Sten and Wynne went ahead with Damon following them.

Elissa was about to do the same when she was stopped by Alistair.

"Hey," he gently grasped her elbow, spinning her around to face him and she looked up into his dark eyes. He tilted his head quizzical and she felt her heart race. Did he remember?

"Did…" he trailed off, his eyes going hazy before they refocused on hers, "Did anything happen in the Fade?"

"What do you mean?" she asked; her voice carefully calm.

"I…I just-," he huffed out a frustrated sigh, running his free hand through his hair. "I just get this feeling that I'm missing something. Almost like…I forgot something."

He did not remember.

It should not have hurt but it did, sending stinging pain through her chest as she forced a smile onto her lips, shaking her head.

"I cannot think of what you mean," she lied. It sounded sweet but it tasted sour. "I just helped break you free," she choked on the last word, shaking herself when she caught Alistair's concerned look, "of your dream."

"Yeah, I remember that," he pointed out. "But I just…" he sighed once more. "You know what, forget it," he told her, finally letting her go and stepping backward.

It was strange that she suddenly felt cold and groundless, like Alistair was a rock that she could lean against, a comfort that she once thought she would not need.

She briefly wondered for a moment if this was what her brother had spoken of when he told her that one day she would find a man who would be able to handle her.

"We have a mission to do, right?" his voice broke into her thoughts and she looked up at him, smiling.

"Yes, we have a mission to do," she agreed. He gave her a sharp nod then set off, walking over to where Sten, Wynne and Damon waited for them.

She watched him go before her gaze fell to the ground and bit her bottom lip.

This was her secret, hers and hers alone. She would bear that burden, Maker forgive her.

The End (maybe?)

Yes, erm…angsty (Could this be considered as one-sided? I never know how I write these things and not know what-the-heck I am doing!)


	2. Chapter 2: A Rose For A Memory

Title: A Rose for a Memory

Pairings: Alistair/Elissa Cousland

Rating: Teen

Summary: He knows he is missing something important, and that rose will help him

Timeline: Origins – Follows on from 'A Dream within the Fade'

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Comfort

A Rose for a Memory

He watched her from across the fire. He found he was doing that more often now, just surveying her profile from afar.

She was sitting cross-legged on the mat, in front of her tent, leafing through one of the books she had discovered during their travels.

Her black hair was still up in its bun, stray strands framed her face and a pang hit his heart. He absently-minded rubbed it away, a slight frown creasing his forehead. It was happening more frequently.

Especially when he tried to recover his memories behind the haze that he had acquired after they left the Fade. He knew it was important, but he didn't understand how he knew or why.

Then there was the way she looked at him, with those blue eyes and soft-looking pink lips parting, almost as if she was going to say something only for her eyes to darken and lips to press together.

She would turn away, sadness and resignation lingering in the air between them and he just didn't understand what he was missing. Only the ache would settle deep in his heart.

He thought they were close; they fought well together, planned together. They could talk about anything but whenever the mood changed – almost crackling between them – the moment he thinks he could confess…

She would take a step back and he got the feeling that he was losing her. That she was slipping through his fingers. She would shy away from him, giving him any excuse just to get away from his presence.

Now, he knew that he could be an idiot, a fact Morrigan would so heartily agree with him; he was not stupid. He could see she at least return some feelings for him.

Even Zevran had made comments on how he caught Elissa staring at the warrior – and as far as he could tell, the elf did not lie about things like that, even just to tease him.

Beside, Leliana and Wynne had made similar comments, Leliana followed by soft sighs and wistful looks, while Wynne was reproachful, almost judgemental.

Therefore, this led him to believe that those hazy memories held the key to solving this little mind driving crazy puzzle.

However, how could one recover memories when the other person insisted that there was nothing to remember?

She looked up at him that moment, locking eyes with him and a shy smile crossed those lips. He returned the smile, his little puzzle forgotten for the moment as he drank in the sight of her looking relaxed and glowing from the fire.

The Blight surrounded them, the darkness closing in each day and they were both messed up, her from her family's slaughter at the hand of someone they considered as ally and friend. Him from the loss of his mentor and friends, the Grey Wardens – the one place he had considered as home was lost to him.

However, they had found each other.

The moment was shattered as her smile faded, her eyes turning dark and she returned to the book settled on her lap. He sighed, wondering how he could reach her.

He wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch her cheek, to tell her that everything would be okay. Nevertheless, he did not. Something was holding him back, and it frustrated him.

"I'm heading to sleep," Elissa stood up, getting everyone's attention. "Wake me when it's my shift."

They all bade her good night as she lifted the flap to her tent. She stopped, looking over her shoulder at him. She gave him a soft smile and a brief nod before ducking in, her Mabari following her faithfully.

He had never felt this confused and twisted over a girl before and he could not believe it would happen in the middle of the bleeding Blight.

His luck. He really should have considered that it would have happened. He had never been the luckiest child, really.

His jaw set as he stared at the flap to her tent. He was going to find out what that hazy memory contained, and there was nothing she could do to stop him.

~_ARFAM_~

He considered asking Wynne for advice but thought against it. Despite the fact he was growing closer to the elderly woman, she had expressed misgivings regarding his and Elissa's close friendship and he didn't want to fall out with the woman just because she was reminding him of those who refused to let him make his choices.

Leliana would have been the safer choice, he could hazard a guess what the other members of their misfit gang would have said – some of them made him shudder with fear or embarrassment – but she was close to Elissa and he did not think he could trust her not to spoil his intentions by accident.

Therefore, he fell back on his lessons on how to calm the mind, to find that inner peace that may allow him to access his memories.

It was worth a try and he was in the perfect spot, sitting beside the river. Damon, Elissa's hound was lying near the riverbed, just watching the fishes swim near the edge.

It was now or never. It was rare for them to get a break as they did now so mind made up, he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath then exhaled slowly.

A few more led to his shoulders relaxing, the muscles unknotting and the world faded away, leaving him alone in the vastness of his mind.

A thought that made him inwardly snicker, Morrigan's predictable remark already ringing through his head if she ever discovered that.

Focusing, he looked around to see the hazy mist and he knew that somewhere deep in there was the memory that contained the answer to the question he desperately sought.

Nevertheless, at the same time, it was a comforting place. He was safe here; nothing could harm him. He had learned this trick from the hound master when he had made to stay in the stable shortly after Arl Eamon had married his young wife.

It had served to help him on many occasions, especially when he had been sent to the Chantry to undergo training to become a Templar.

Inner peace and calmness of the mind were qualities a Templar needed in order to use their abilities in disrupting the Mages' display of powers.

It was also a place he could go whenever he felt alone and unwanted, cast aside by those who were supposed to care for him, by those he considered as family.

Shaking his thoughts aside, he focused on the memories he needed, the ones when he had been in the Fade.

The scene around him shifted, revealing the tower and he walked forward. Each moment flashed by him, fighting side-by-side with Elissa, coming face to face with the Demon.

The Demon tempting them with his voice, lulling them toward sleep as he convinced them that they were tired, that fighting was not needed. It had been a battle to fight against it and it had been a battle he had lost.

He remembered waking up in bed, to see his sister standing above him with an amused smile as she told him to get up and help her make breakfast.

Shuddering, he skipped past those memories until Elissa turned up. There – that is where it started to get hazy.

It was strange, he could remember Elissa pleading with him to remember how they got there, his sister and children revealing they had been demons in disguise in a bid to trap him within the fade forever.

However, it was that moment after the battle and showing up with the others to help Elissa fight against the Demon that had been missing and he wondered why.

As far as he knew, the others did not have any missing memories so – why him? What was so important that he needed to forget it?

He moved closer to the memory only for it turn hazier and he gritted his teeth, taking a step back and closing his eyes. He needed to calm down. A pang of frustration welled up in him and he could not allow it to take over.

Once he felt the frustration ebb away, he opened his eyes once more to see the memory had become clearer and he felt jubilant. There was still a chance he would walk away with the memory.

Stepping closer, he gently reached his hand out, allowing it to pass through the memory and closed his eyes as the mist flowed toward him. Maybe he would finally get his answer.

"Alistair?" he heard Elissa's voice and opened his eyes to meet her concerned light blue ones, watching him with concern. She had a hand on his shoulder.

Her dark hair was loose, freed from its bun, and framing her face. Her lips were pink, looking so kissable that he had to refrain himself from tilting his head and just kissing her.

"Elissa," Her name tumbled from his lips almost prayer-like and she bit her bottom lip.

"Are you okay?" she finally asked. "Wynne had been trying to get your attention."

Brought back to reality, he lifted his eyes toward the sky to see it had darkened, indicating that it was closer to afternoon, he had been out for most the day. He brought his eyes down to meet hers once more.

"Yes, I'm sorry," he pushed himself to his feet, feeling the loss of her heat when her hand slipped from his shoulder and down to her side.

Damon was sitting at her side, faithfully, and Alistair noticed he was unusually solemn. Perhaps he sensed the mood.

He looked back at Elissa. "I was mediating."

"It's no bother Alistair," he really liked the way she said his name. "I think Wynne was more worried about you missing out on dinner." She gave him an amused smile and he grinned back.

"Well, I certainly would have been upset to have missed a delicious meal from our favourite healer." She laughed and it warmed him to his bones.

It had been so long since he last heard her laugh, almost free from her past and worries. Just for that moment, she was a normal girl without a dark past that threatened to haunt her dreams.

Nevertheless, it was gone in a blink and she returned, eyeing him with curious concern.

"Is everything okay?"

_No_

"Yes," he lied, giving her an easy smile while wondering how it suddenly became easy to like to her. She was silent for the moment, just watching him before she nodded.

"Okay, I'll see you back at the camp," she took a step back. "Do you wish to keep Damon a little while longer?"

_Yes_

"No," he looked at her dog looking back and forth between them and he wondered why he had lied. If she had a problem with Damon staying with him, she would not have asked him, she would have just called her dog to her.

However, looking at her told him the reason why he had lied.

Relief. It showed in her face and posture. She had never been away from her dog for any length of time. He was always a constant companion, Alistair a close second.

As much he wanted to talk to her dog, to get his thoughts in order, she needed him more and Alistair could not deny her that.

She gave him a short nod, beckoning her dog to her. Damon looked at him with dark eyes, and for a moment, Alistair was convinced the dog knew he had lied. Irrational he knew, but that was how he felt. Damon conceded and licked Alistair's fingers before following his mistress back to the camp.

Alistair watched her retreating figure, the smile falling from his face. There she goes, the woman who kissed him.

He groaned, his hands coming up his face and he scrubbed roughly before his hands dropped, slapping the side of his thighs hard as he looked at the sky.

He remembered everything, and he was an idiot.

~_ARFAM_~

He watched her from across the fire once more, this time no longer missing his memories. It was enough to make him want to punch something, namely himself, for forgetting the memories in the first place.

Now her strange actions made sense. How she could be happy and smiling at him one moment, sad and distant the next.

She remembered their kiss but had to live with the knowledge that he did not.

He closed his eyes, bowing his head. He felt angry, so angry. He was angry that he forgot the kiss – how could he have forgotten it? Angry that she remembered, angry that she hid it from him, angry that she felt she had to hide it from.

The last thought sent a pang through his heart, this time he now understood it. He thought they trusted each other, especially after their argument when he reluctantly revealed that he was the bastard son of Maric, the former King and the half-brother to Calian, their late King.

And damn him if he did not just fall a little bit more in love with her.

She had kept it to herself, not saying a word. That was her tactic, take everything, bottle up and move forward without saying a thing.

He briefly wondered if she confessed everything to Damon in her tent, away from prying ears, secure in the knowledge that her dog would not betray her.

But nothing stopped the memories from replaying repeatedly in his head.

Her blue eyes staring up him, shiny with unshed tears, lone tear trickling free before she kissed him.

He had frozen, unable to believe that the woman he was developing feelings for had just kissed him.

It was over almost as it started and seeing that – _disappointed_ – look on her face snapped him into his action and he kissed her.

He remembered what it felt like to have her in his arms, pressed up against him. To have those kissable lips, the ones he was always watching, caressing his. To finally know if those tempting black locks were as soft as they looked.

He came back to reality and looked at her again only to see him watching him across the fire. Their eyes met and he wondered if she could see his thoughts in his eyes.

She gave him an uncertain smile and he wanted to return it, to assure that her everything was okay, but found that he could not.

Because it was not okay, not by a long shot. In addition, he did not know what to say or do to make it better.

The smile fade from her face, a brief flash of hurt, uncertainty, and _fear_, crossed her face, before she got up and bade everyone a good night as she headed toward her tent.

She stopped for a brief moment before shaking her head and disappeared under the flap – all without looking back at him.

It hurt him more than it should have. That was the first time, since they started traveling together, that she had not looked at him before heading into her tent and he sighed, shaking his head.

A soft whine caused him to look down to see Damon had not followed Elissa into her tent; instead, he had made his place at Alistair's feet, looking up at him with soulful dark eyes.

"Hey boy," he greeted, scratching the hound's head. Damon turned, licking Alistair's fingers before staring at him and Alistair grinned.

"I'm an idiot, huh?"

A bark of agreement followed and he wondered what he could do to fix the chasm between him and Elissa when he caught sight of his bag. This time, a new memory appeared and he smiled softly.

He wondered if she would be up for an exchange.

~_ARFAM_~

He nervously paced the clearing next to the river, the same spot he where he had mediated in order to get his memory back when he heard rustling and turned to see Damon was leading Elissa.

He let out a sigh of relief that Damon had managed to get Elissa out of her tent. He did not want to have this conversation in front of everyone else. He did not need that on top of what he had to say.

"Alistair?" She came to a stop in front of him before she looked at her dog then looked back at him, understanding dawning on her. "You're the reason why Damon dragged me from my bed?" He gave her a sheepish grin, rubbing the back of his neck and saw her flush.

"Yeah, I needed to talk to you but I didn't want to do with an audience and you know if I were to enter your tent, the others would be hanging around the flap trying to listen in." She laughed as Damon wandered over to the riverbed, giving the space they needed and he was grateful toward the mutt.

"So," he looked at her as she calmed down from her laugher. "What was so important that we needed to come all the way out here?" she asked, her hands gesturing to their surroundings.

Alistair's nervousness came back before he swallowed and inwardly chastised himself. He took a deep breath and pulled the rose from behind him, holding it up between them.

She looked at it before looking at him.

"Do you know what this is?" he asked. She quirked that eyebrow, a smile of amusement playing on her lips and he wanted to hit himself on the head.

_Yes, Alistair, she knew what a rose was_.

"Is this a trick question?" she asked, a teasing smile playing on those lips. He could play with that.

"Yes, absolutely," he confirmed, her smile broadened. "I'm trying to trick you. Is it working? Aw, I just about had you, didn't I?" she laughed, her eyes sparkling.

"Oh yes, you're wily," she teased back and took the rose into her hands. Her smile turned fond as she looked at him once more. "You've been thumbing this for a while." He blushed as he realised he had been caught out.

"Yeah," he confessed. "I picked it up in Lothering," he shrugged. "I remember thinking _'how could something so beautiful exist in a place where there was so much despair and ugliness?'_" he sighed. "I know I probably should have just left it alone, but I couldn't. The Darkspawns would come and their taint would destroy it. So I've had it with me ever since."

"It is beautiful," she agreed, softly touching the petals.

"I thought I should give it to you," he locked eyes with hers, "Since I think the same way about you whenever I look at you." She blushed.

"Alistair," he took a step closer to her, his hands going to her arms and she looked up at him, startled by his sudden nearness.

"I remember," she paled. "And I am so sorry that I forgot." She swallowed, her lips parting for a moment before she bit down on her lower lip, her eyes turning teary.

"Alistair," she tried again, shaking her head as she looked down at the rose. He released one arm to cup her chin, tilting her face back up to his. A tear slipped free and he wiped it away with his thumb.

"I'm an idiot," that got a breathless laugher as more tears trickled free, a smile briefly lightning up her face.

"No, you're not," she disagreed. "You forgot; it wasn't something you could control."

"But I hurt you," he reminded and she looked off to the side, taking a deep breath before she looked up at him once more.

"Is that what this is all about?" she asked, "The rose?"

"Partly," he told her. "I was wondering if you wouldn't mind an exchange." She looked puzzled. "You get my rose, if you give me your memory?"

She stared at him, obviously trying to figure out the riddle and he saw the moment it dawned on her.

"You want me to kiss you," she whispered. He smiled softly.

"Or I kiss you. I'm not really bothered," he shrugged before taking in her bewildered look. "I care for you, Elissa," he cupped her cheek, his heart thudding when she leaned into his touch. "And to be honest, I don't really count our kiss in the Fade as a real one."

Indignation flashed across her face as she straightened up, her lips parting only for his finger to stop her, smiling amusedly. "It wasn't out here, in the real world. And I forgot it so it doesn't count."

She rolled her eyes but she could not stop the smile from crossing her lips.

"Honestly," she huffed as she looked off to the side. Alistair did not push her; he could see that she was weighing the pros and cons. That is what she does, every challenge they came across, she would take her time to figure out what side was better and she did not like it when people pushed her.

After a few long minutes, she looked up at him and he held his breath.

"Okay," he exhaled in disbelief.

"Really?" he asked and her eyes widen in disbelief.

"You set this all up!" she reminded him. "You gave me a rose and offered a suggestion that we could use it as an exchange! How can you believe that I would not want to kiss you? I did instigate it in the Fade!"

"Maker's breath, you _are_ beautiful when you are angry," he told her before crushing his lips to hers, cutting off any further retort coming from the noble born woman.

She gasped into his mouth before moaning as his arms banded around her body, her hands trapped between their chests.

Frustrated that he was not getting her close enough, he separated their bodies enough for her hands to slip free – which she took – before pulling her up closer against them.

Her arms slipped around his neck, pushing herself on her tiptoes so he slipped an arm down around her waist so he could help. She moaned appreciatively into his mouth and it sent a shiver down his spine.

He would never understand how this slip of a woman managed to get to his heart, or how he managed to get to her heart but he would be damned if he let anyone or anything get between them.

Soon their kisses turned softer as she fell back onto her heels, breathing heavily as she looked up at him with dark blue eyes. He kissed her again, enjoying the way she melted against him before resting his forehead against hers.

"Hmm, that was better," he told her and she smiled against his lips.

"Yeah, you didn't freeze up like a statue this time," she teased.

"Hey!" he pulled away so he could look at her. "You kissed me out of the blue! What was I supposed to do?"

"Shut up," she pulled him back down for another kiss and he found that he did not mind her method of shutting him up.

Moreover, it was not a bad exchange, a rose for a memory.

The End

So – I managed to write a story that ended fluffy (nice to see that I can still do those…)


	3. Chapter 3: A Comfort Within Doubts

Title: A Comfort within Doubts

Pairings: Alistair/Elissa

Rating: Teen

Summary: Filled with doubts, Elissa questions their relationship.

Timeline: After saving the Circle

Warnings: Angst, Comfort

A Comfort within Doubts

Elissa frowned as she stared at the rose in her hands, softly stroking the petals before smiling as she remembered Alistair giving her the rose.

She still could not believe how romantic it had been, how romantic _he_ was. He was not like any other men she had met, and she had met her fair share thanks to her mother's desperate bid to find her a husband.

She smile turned bitter at the memories of her family. Even now, she still could not grieve for them. She felt too angry, especially with Howe for betraying them.

Moreover, she was still confused; she did not know why Howe had betrayed them. She knew her father and Howe had been friends for years, even to the point Howe had been hinting, heavily, at an arranged marriage between her and his youngest son, Thomas.

A wince crossed her face as she remembered the young man. He was not the type of person she would have relished being married too. The last time they had been the same room had resulted in him receiving a black eye and dropping onto his knees while her brother had taken it upon himself to teach her self-defence.

It was the strange how the memories invoked pain to remember yet they made her smile. Was that not the whole point of memories? They remind you the reason why you push onward.

She turned her head when she heard rustling and saw Damon leading Alistair through the bushes and into the clearing. She smiled when Alistair stopped in his tracks when he spotted her, a blush creeping over his face and he rubbed the back of his neck.

Butterflies started up in stomach as she watched him walk over to her.

"Hey," he greeted, slowly sitting down next to her.

"Hey," she watched as he sighed, stretching his hands over his head only to groan when Damon trotted over to him, lying down with his head on Alistair's lap, obviously expecting a good scratch as payment for finding her.

While Alistair conceded, scratching the hound, she turned her gaze back to the darkening sky, absently stroking the petals.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Alistair asked, breaking into her thoughts. She bit her bottom lip.

"Not really," she admitted softly. She saw him nod out the corner of her eye and it made her heart melt.

Alistair had never once pushed her, letting her take her own time She could count on one hand the number of men who had been like him.

However, none of them made her feel like she had butterflies in her stomach. None of them had made her laugh as he did. None of them had _challenged_ her.

It was strange, she never thought she could meet a man who her father would have approved, who her mother would have so readily embraced into the family, who her brother would be more than happy to call a brother.

Yet - here he was, and her family were dead. She mentally scoffed, Fate _was_ a twisted a bitch.

Moreover, that brought up her questions regarding their relationship, and it slipped out before she could stop it.

"Do you think we're being selfish?" She held her breath as his head snapped toward hers, his eyes going wide before they narrowed.

"Selfish?" His voice was low. She exhaled and she nodded.

"We're Grey Wardens. We have a duty to the people to stop the Blight. Does…" she looked at the rose again, unable to watch his expression. "Does we having a relationship count us as being selfish? Are we putting ourselves first?"

"Where did this come from?" he asked after a moment of silence.

"I guess…I've been thinking about it – about Grey Wardens' duty." Alistair stayed silent, and she could feel his eyes on her. The only noise between them was Damon's low whines of pleasure as Alistair continued to scratch him.

"Liar," Alistair finally said. She looked at him with wide eyes, her lips parting indignantly.

"Excuse me?" she demanded, pressing her lips into a thin line but she could not miss the flare of Alistair's nostrils. Her hand tightened around the stem of her rose.

"You heard me," he shot back. "That was a lie."

"I don't know what you are talking about," she snapped, straightening her spine. "And I resent you calling me a liar!" His eyes narrowed, challenging.

"Resent me all you want," he warned her. "But you are lying to me. You were not just thinking about our relationship because of Grey Wardens' duties. There is something else."

Elissa gritted her teeth, growling at him before she pushed herself to her feet.

"I'm heading back to the camp," she told him tartly, brushing the dirt off her armour, slipping the rose into her belt so she would not leave it behind in her anger, turning to stalk off.

"We are not finished here," she heard Damon's annoyed bark as Alistair pushed him off before standing up himself. She looked over at her shoulder to see Alistair glaring right back at her.

"Yes, we are," she informed him, turning around, and Alistair scoffed as she took a step forward.

"Does it anything to do with Wynne?" he challenged and she stopped in her tracks, her eyes widening as a shocked gasp escaped her parted lips.

She immediately flashed back to the conversation she had with the mage.

~_ACWD_~

"The two of you are quite taken with each other, aren't you?" Wynne's question caught her off guard. Elissa turned to see the mage had sat down next to her at some point while a new book they had discovered on their travels had distracted her.

"Excuse me?" she asked, unsure of the question.

"You and Alistair," Wynne elaborated. "You have grown closer." Elissa felt her cheeks burn as she looked toward the fire.

"We are friends." It even sounded hollow to her ears.

"Oh, I dare say it has become more than that." Wynne's tone was one of reproach. "He is smitten with you."

Unable to help herself, Elissa risked a glance in Alistair's direction. He was currently sharpening his sword, making sure it was ready for the next battle. He had been complaining that it felt blunt. He looked so handsome, focused on the task with the glow of the fire warming his features. Her heart thudded and she bit her lower lip, warmth spreading through her.

"Maybe," Elissa softly admitted to the older woman as she turned to face her once more, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Are you sure that is wise?" the smile faded from her lips, her heart sinking and unease settling low in her stomach. "You are Grey Wardens. You have a duty to the people." Elissa's jaw dropped incredulously.

They _were_ in the middle of a Blight, and an upcoming war surrounding it. Nevertheless, should they not find happiness regardless of the darkness?

Moreover, she _certainly_ never asked to become a Grey Warden.

"I-,"

"Alistair seems to be naïve regarding relationships. He clearly looks toward you for guidance."

How ignorant Wynne seemed to be regarding their relationship. Elissa was also new to relationships as well.

Elissa had to shake her head, bewildered by the conversation.

"I am sorry, but exactly how does our having a relationship have anything to do with you?"

Wynne regarded her with cool eyes, not saying anything, and Elissa felt Wynne was testing her, as if she was judging Elissa for some unknown reason.

"There may be a time where you relationship may impede with your duties as Grey Wardens," she said. "Can you truly afford to be selfish?"

Elissa stared at the other woman in stunned horror when Damon growled menacingly, bearing his teeth and catching Wynne off guard. She had obviously missed the hound at Elissa's side, snoozing.

"No," Elissa placed a hand on Damon's muzzle, pushing down and he looked at her, teeth still bared. "She _is_ entitled to her own opinion."

Damon gave another low growl before conceding to his mistress' touch and lay his head down once more.

Taking a deep breath to calm her emotions, and clear her heard; she looked at Wynne again.

"Are you - ," she trailed off, unsure what to say when Wynne took over once more.

"Maybe it would better if you were to rethink your relationship."

Tears burned at the back of Elissa's eyes.

"So...what? I should tell Alistair to go away. Cast him aside because it _might _cause problems down the line?" She could not believe what she was hearing.

"If only to spare him pain in the future." Funny how Wynne was more concerned about _her _hurting Alistair instead of the other way around.

A bitter humourless laugh left Elissa and she could tell it did not sit well as Damon brought his head up, giving a low shine and moving in closer to give her comfort, the flinch that crossed the other woman.

"I should hurt Alistair _now_, to spare him the pain," she shook her head. "_Great plan_," she could not help but add sarcastically.

"Elissa-,"

"Don't." She cut the mage off, anger burning through her. "Just don't." She put her book to the side before pushing herself up to her feet.

Damon got up to accompany her but she placed a hand on his head. "Stay here," she ordered, not looking at him. The image of those dark eyes looking up at her pleadingly was enough to eat away at her willpower. "I need time alone."

She rounded the fire, vaguely aware of everyone watching her. In addition, she could sense Alistair's eyes on her. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

Concern clear on his expressive face, his eyes was dark with confusion. She bit her bottom lip as a tear slipped free.

Shaking her head, she burst into a run, practically diving into the forest as Alistair called her name. She kept running, ignoring the calls of her friends, the barks of her dog and the need to wrap herself up in Alistair's arms, where she felt safe and strong.

She could not go to him. Not now.

~_ACWD_~

Elissa shuddered as she came out of her thoughts and hung her head, wrapping her arms around her waist.

"Alistair…"

"What did she say?" she felt him step closer up behind her.

"Nothing," she whispered. She could not do that to him. She could not break the bond that was forming between him and the older woman, the one who was becoming like a mother to him.

"_Liar,_" he grabbed her elbow, spinning her around to face him and she saw the hard look of anger on his face. "She said something that has you questioning…" he trailed off and dread coiled in her stomach when understanding crossed his face.

"She has you doubting about our relationship," he shook his head and refocused his gaze on her. "She has suggested we should end our relationship."

Hearing those words in his voice sent an icy shiver down her spine. She pulled herself out of his grasp - he let her go - and took a step back, looking out at the water.

It rolled around in her head, hearing the words repeatedly. Were they being selfish? Were they putting themselves first before the people? Did they have a right to have a relationship when others were suffering?

"Alistair…" she looked at him to see his expression was now unreadable and it broke her heart. Were they going to lose something special because people deemed it selfish in their eyes? Was she going to _lose him_?

She did not know what to say, she could not deny it since he seemed to have discovered a way to tell she was lying.

"Do you think she is right?" the question should have taken her by surprised, coming from Alistair. Nevertheless, it did not, because she had been expecting it. Maybe that is what she feared – Alistair thinking the same thing as Wynne has.

She was not afraid of hurting Alistair, because she was terrified as Alistair held the power to break her, to shatter her completely.

Maybe that was why she ran away instead of going to him.

"I don't know," she admitted and a flash of pain, insecurity and _fear_ crossed his face, making her chest tight.

Did he -

"Do you think we should end this now?" it astounded her and he stepped closer to her, challenging her. "Do you think we should away from this and focus on the people? Our duty?!"

"I-I…," it was hard to think with him so close to her. She closed her eyes before she lashed out. She brought her hands up and shoved his chest. "I don't know!" he stumbled under the force and she stared at him with wide eyes, matching him perfectly.

"Elissa…" he regained his balance and he seemed hurt. More tears filled her eyes.

"I don't know!" she shouted, holding her hands up as he tried to step closer to him. "I don't know anything, Alistair! You all decided that you would make me the leader! _You_ are the senior Grey Warden yet you pushed this stupid leadership on me. Now you expect me to be the one who has to decide about our relationship?!"

Her hands went to the sides of her head, turning away, unable to look at him, not when her heart was threatening to crack further.

"I can't think; I can barely sleep thanks to the bloody nightmares, and seeing the bodies of my family lying before me." She turned to look at him once more to see the stricken look on his face. "My family was murdered and I can't even grieve for them and you want me to give up something that makes me happy?"

To her horror, a sob broke free and he softened.

"Elissa," she shook her head as he stepped forward but did not resist as he gently grabbed her arm again. Tears broke free and she fell into his arms, burying her face into his chest and cried.

He embraced her, rubbing a hand up and down her back while dropping kisses on the crown of her head. She clung to him as if she was clinging into a lifeline. She felt as if someone had thrown her into the deep end and had not come up for air.

How was it fair? She lost her entire family – she still did not know what happened to her brother – and she had seen the slaughter of the army before a witch, who claimed it was their duty to bring a stop to the Blight, had rescued them.

Now, just when she thinks there is a light in the midst of all this darkness, people threaten it by questioning her if it was right for her to have this moment of happiness, if it was not selfish for her wanting to have this.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he whispered, gently rocking her and she felt herself calming down.

It was strange how he had this effect on her, how easy it was for him to rile her up then have her laughing, or challenging her then making her cry. Her brother had cursed her when he told her that she would find a man who would be able to handle her.

She had never missed her brother as much as she did right now. How much would she give just to head him laugh, ruffling her hair.

She took a deep breath, inhaling the scent that was Alistair, and sighed, closing her eyes. He pressed a kiss to the side of her head, holding her lips there for a moment.

As much as she wanted to stay wrapped up in his arms, they were in the middle of an argument. She pulled away from him only to find he was not letting her go that easy, and looked up at him.

"We're not finished," she reminded and he laughed, his eyes sparkling and her heart skipped a beat.

"Coming from the woman who tried to storm off," he gently teased and Elissa felt her cheeks burn.

Happiness gave way to concentration as he continued to watch her before he sighed heavily.

"Do you think we're being selfish?" he asked. Her gaze dropped to his chest before she shrugged.

"I do not know," she confessed miserably. "I never thought we were hurting anyone but..." she looked up at him desperately. "What is our duty?" Alistair seemed taken aback at her question. "We have a duty to stop the Blight, yes, but where does it prohibit us from finding happiness? Ser Jory had a wife, a child on the way so surely Grey Wardens do not condemn relationships. However, do they frown upon relations within the Grey Wardens?"

"Elissa..." he did not seem to know what to say.

"Alistair, we're the last two Grey Wardens in Ferelden - which we know of. I saw my family slaughtered, betrayed by someone they trusted. You lost the Grey Wardens, a family you found, because Loghain had left them to die by quitting the battlefield."

She took a deep breath, her gaze dropping down to his chest again, as sadness crashed through her once more.

Alistair tilted her face up toward his once more.

"Elissa, you will still have me as a friend if you chose to end this," he promised and it made her heart flutter, and tears to film her eyes.

"I do not want to end this," she confessed and he exhaled, relief crossing his face. "You make me happy, Alistair. And I do not care if people think that is selfish. I do not want to lose you, I _can't_ lose you...I...I _care_ about you."

Alistair hauled her up against his chest, keeping her deeply. She moaned, her hands clutching the back of his shirt. He did not let up and she could feel her head swimming, his hands mapping her back.

She broke the kiss to breathe and found she was walking backward with Alistair leading her until her back hit the trunk of the tree. He kissed her deeply again and she arched her body.

He broke the kiss time, staring down at her with dark eyes, his lips swollen and cheeks flushed.

"You drive me crazy," he told her, his voice low and it sent shivers down her spine. She untangled her arms from around his waist, slipping them over his neck, one hand tightening in his dark blonde hair, pulling him in for another kiss.

He met her eagerly, his hands sliding down her back and over her hips before curving around her thighs. Her body seemed to know what he wanted and she bounced on her toes, allowing him to lift her up, and wrapped her legs around his hips.

He pressed up against her and she gasped, breaking the kiss but Alistair took control, kissing his way over her cheek and down her neck.

_This_ had been what her sister had spoken of when they talked about relationship. This heady feeling of power, knowing when a man wanted - _desired_ - you.

Elissa tightened her legs, pulling him in even further and he groaned into her neck, his hands travelling up to her hips and squeezed.

Her hand, in his hair, tightened to the point she was almost pulling on his hair. Her other hand slid over his shoulder, down his arm and interlaced her fingers with his, shifting her hips as she did.

_Oh, Maker...that felt good_, pleasure burst through her. Alistair bit her collarbone, causing her to yelp before she moaned as he licked the mark, soothing and stimulating her at once.

He lifted their intertwined hands, pushing it against the bark next to her head as he brought his head up, their eyes meeting.

He was gorgeous - and _hers_. The thought made her pant and he gave her that smirk - that knowing smirk that would drive her crazy - and it inflamed her.

He slowly grinded against her and her nails dug into the back of his hand.

"Alistair..." her head fell back but he quickly drove his hand into her unbound dark hair, pulling her head so she was facing him once more and he kissed her, stealing her breath and making her whimper.

He untangled their hands, placing his hand on the side of her waist and slowly dragging it up, his thumb brushing the underside of her breast - and alarm bells set off inside her head.

Too fast, they were moving too fast...no matter how much she really wanted to have him - they could not. She had doubts about their relationship, had questioned their duty. Now was not the time.

She turned her head, breaking the kiss and Alistair took her neck, almost making her give in.

"W-," Alistair's fingers inched closer, his fingers tightening in her hair as he grinded harder, causing stronger pleasure to surge through her and she almost lost her train of thought. "W-wait...Alistair..." she begged.

Alistair stilled almost straight away and she turned to look at him, looking into hazy dark eyes. His lips looked kissable and his hair was a ruffled mess, which only added to her desire.

Somehow, she had a feeling she looked similar considering the way his eyes dropped to her lips before he swallowed, still panting.

"Too fast," he croaked out. She nodded, breathing heavily. She ached to kiss him again, to feel his skin against hers but she restrained herself.

They were not ready for that step; she was not ready.

He gently let her down, easing his lower body away from hers but not completely separating them.

Once she was on her feet, he rested his forehead against hers and she closed her eyes, soaking up his nearness.

"I need to go into the lake," his voice broke the silence and she looked up at him, confused.

His flushed cheek only added to her confusion but when he averted his eyes, rubbing the back of his neck understanding dawned on her and she felt her own cheeks heating up.

Eye widening, she quickly took a step back from Alistair only to halt when her back hit the tree, the same tree he had her pressed up against.

"I-I'll..." she looked around frantically, anything to keep her eyes off Alistair's body so it wouldn't betray her by looking down, she spotted her dog watching the two of them from the riverbed, his head cocked in confusion. "I'll walk Damon!"

She squeezed by Alistair, ignoring the way that damn knowing smile playing on those lips at her flustered state.

Damon just whined curiously, as he watched her coming toward him but she refused to be deterred, grabbing him by the collar and pulled him along, furiously ignoring the heat of Alistair's eyes on her behind, and his badly suppressed laugher.

_Jerk._

~_ACWD_~

Elissa did not know how long she had walked for, wanting to stay away from the camp, and Alistair, until the throbbing between her legs alleviated, and her cheeks stopped burning.

She was half-convinced her dog was beginning to think she was crazy considering the many times he had tried to go back to camp only for Elissa to quickly give him a treat, bribing him into staying.

However, when she stepped back into the camp, she saw it had been enough time for Alistair to make it back to the camp and was currently reading a book, sitting in front of the fire. Elissa could see that he was not really reading it due to the far-away look in his eyes and the concern apparent.

Damon gave a low bark, happily trotting over to Alistair that Elissa had to stop in her tracks, watching her dog and marvelling at how quickly Damon had taken to Alistair.

This same dog had a hard time leaving her alone in the same room as her brother. Moreover, the one who had scared off many of suitors her Mother had picked much to the woman's annoyance.

Alistair turned in Damon's direction, getting a lick to the cheek as greeting. Alistair smiled, patting the dog while his eyes searched for her.

Once they met, relief crossed his features for a moment before happiness took over.

A smile crossed her own lips and she made up her mind. She walked over to him, sitting down on his other side.

Unable to help herself, she looked over at Wynne - who was sitting in front of her own tent - to see clear disapproval on her face. Her heart began to sink.

In that same moment, Alistair turned her to look him before kissing her softly. She melted against him, all thoughts of Wynne and her doubts flying out of her head. Alistair wrapped his arms around her hair, pulling her into his body as he broke the kiss.

"I'm sorry," he kissed her forehead.

"For what?" she saw the sheepish expression crossing his face.

"For forcing the leadership onto you." she smiled, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry for unleashing it all you," she apologised and he laughed, brushing back a lock of her hair behind her ear before rubbing his thumb over her cheek.

"To be honest, I think it was time you let it go," he told her.

She wondered what he meant by that and he gave her a knowing look. "You do have a habit of bottling everything up." She just stared at him, speechless.

Not even her family had noticed..."So, whenever you feel like letting go, I'll be there for you."

"Alistair," her smile turned watery. What was it about this man that made her want to cry?

"And I promise to help you with the leadership. Though I warn you, I am better at bashing people in the head that I am talking to them."

She laughed, catching everyone's attention, and she covered her mouth, simultaneously glaring at Alistair while he just grinned broadly, pleased that he had made her happy and it made her heart swell.

She leaned over, kissing him and for the first time in a long time, she felt lighter.

And it was all thanks to the warrior in front of her.

The End/TBC

Okay - this was inspired by me trying to break up with Alistair in my game (didn't work cause I ended up re-loading) however I noticed that you didn't get the option to tell Alistair that you are breaking up with him because Wynne suggested it so I kinda head-cannoned that they don't want to hurt Alistair even further by bringing in Wynne at that point.

(and yes, I'm writing Alistair as hardened - kinda - despite the fact that I haven't even written the part where you do get the chance to harden him.)


End file.
